Strange Email
Not too long ago, several people left my current company for positions at another company (the same one, mind you). It was kind of a bummer, especially since both my manager and one of my best teammates jumped ship. Happily, the teammate has decided to return to the fold, which is an indication of how well the new VP (who’d started only shortly before so many people called it quits) has turned the ship around, and the former manager is very happy with his new responsibilities. Suffice it to say that those who left, for the most part, were driven to leave as they were ground to dust by too many hours and unreasonable demands (many of these people had their marriages threatened by the amount of hours they put in at work).
The above is background. I have a lot of respect for my former manager for his work ethic, his knowledge and how well he protected his team. That said, I can’t say that I ever really got to know him, personally (which is fine with me and probably with him; it’s work, not a buddy movie). We only worked together for 5 or 6 months, which is enough time to get a feel for someone’s abilities, but not really for the person. I haven’t made it a point to keep in touch with him after he left simply because we didn’t really know each other.
So imagine my surprise when I get an email from him today. My first thought was that it might be a bit of recruitment, but he’s a stickler for following the rules and part of his agreement when left my company was a no-recruitment clause. To be honest, I’d already applied for a gig at his company because so many good people were going there and we weren’t sure that the current VP would be able to make good on his promises. He did, and I’m staying, but that doesn’t mean the other company wouldn’t try to recruit since they’ve lost an admin back to the fold.
But there were no recruitment attempts within the email. It was three paragraphs of general talk, catching up and making comments about the back-to-back defections of our coworker. But despite the surprise of the email, that’s not what made it strange. It was the fourth paragraph wherein he asked me if I’d be interested in meeting his sister-in-law for a blind date.
:0
Amusingly enough, I was listening to The Pharcyde’s “Oh Shit” on my headphones when I read this part, which was quite appropriate. Talk about “out of left field”; I never saw this one coming. The guy barely knows me, yet he’s offering to hook me up with his sister-in-law? Either she’s got some serious issues, or I’m the only single guy over 30 he knows. I’m wondering what he thought might make me a good candidate for his sister-in-law, since he has no idea what my hobbies are, what I do outside of work, or even what my political opinions are.
Of course my first question ought to be, “I don’t know, SHOULD I be interested in meeting your sister-in-law?” This should be followed by a request for pictures. But seriously, I was completely taken aback by this email as it was so unexpected. I’m going to respond to him in the morning and thank him for the offer, but that I’m not interested. I’m not seeing anyone right now, nor do I plan on seeing anyone with any kind of regularity in the future. I really like being alone and independent, and the fact that I have no interest in kids or owning a home in the suburbs just makes it that much easier for me to be disqualified by most women (if the beard and insanity weren’t enough to do that already).
I fully expect to die alone and either laughing or very surprised. I also expect that my death won’t be noticed until the smell leaks into the hallways of whereever I’m living at the time. Some would say that this is “sad”, but I find it exactly the opposite; we all die alone, regardless of how many people surround us, and death is something we all gotta do, so we might as well get used to the fact now and give it a big smile when it comes (if we see it coming, that is).
OK - I’m not sure how my little story about getting a very unexpected email from an old boss evolved into a sermon about my death, so I’m going to end this post now.
